1/11/2009 08:42:00 PM
The start of this year is barely past, and we're about to be plunged into what many of our peers, seniors and teachers have described as a year-long journey that will be "pivotal", "gruelling", "beyond all preconceived expectations" and "emotionally taxing".
I saw this article in the newspaper, and many of the issues raised were, it appeared to me, relevant to making ourselves happier with our lives. And during this "dreaded" year, we need all the happiness and relief we can get, don't we?
I believe many of you will find this article enlightening, and I hope that we start off the school year with the right mindset, so that we can give A's the best fight we can muster up, and end off the year without any regrets.
So please do read on, and may we all try to attain some semblence of happiness as a respite from the tribulations this year will bring (not that it won't be enjoyable as a class (: ).
I need to break free
Article by Sumiko Tan, taken from Lifestyle, The Sunday Times, January 11 2009
If I continue being such a creature of habit, I'm going to end up a crusty old woman locked in her ways.
When it comes to holidays, nothing is going to get in the way of a girl and her massages.
Well, at least, nothing was going to stop me from getting my Thai massage.
Every December for the last five years, I've been heading to Hua Hin in southern Thailand for my year-end break.
I go to the same resort every time even though getting there involves a three-hour car journey from Bangkok.
It's a serene place fragrant with the scent of lemongrass. For a week, I eat healthy meals , take yoga classes and surrender my body to the hands of the masseuse.
I know exactly what to expect there - the indoor pool, the yoga pavilion, the salads, the breads, the buckwheat pancakes at breakfast and even the faces of the other regulars who make their pilgrimage there at that time of the year.
And so I had it all planned and had booked my trip months in advance.
The week before I was due to fly off, the political problems in Thailand reached a boil and the airports in Bangkok were closed. There was no way I could get to the spa.
I was sorely disappointed and also disoriented: Where was I to go for my leave? What was I to do?
I Googled for alternative spas in Thailand and finally found one on the island of Koh Samui that seemed similar.
I managed to get air tickets and a room and off I went, feeling decidedly sulky and prepared to be critical about what was going to greet me. I so dislike it when my plans go awry.
Well, it turned out to be a nice spa and I had a great holiday.
My room was huge, the food was delicious (the tiger prawns were to die for), the yoga sessions were satisfyingly sweaty and the massages lulled me to sleep.
In fact, it scored better than the Hua Hin resort in some ways.
And so I arrived at Resolution No. 1 for 2009: break out of my mould; be open to new experiences; go with the flow.
Over the years, I've become such a creature of habit that I wonder if I'm not a bit obsessive-compulsive.
There are, for example, only certain malls I'll ever shop at, and I stick to the same shopping route and will visit only certain stores.
When I drive to Ngee Ann City, my favourite mall, there is only a certain section in the basement carpark that I will park in and it makes my day if I can score one particular carpark lot.
I eat the same bread (wholemeal walnut) for breakfast every single morning of my life and my diet at lunch seldom varies.
On days I go for a morning run, my alarm clock must go off at 5.55 on the dot or my whole day will feel ruined.
I can only bear to use bath towels that are white. I've not changed my hairstyle in a decade.
When it came to choosing 2009 calendars to display at home and at work, I was in a state of agony because the calendars had to be laid out a certain way and most of them weren't.
The first column has to be a Sunday, not Monday, the font has to be just right, there must be enough white space for me to jot down stuff, the words saying "public holiday" must be visible but not too prominent and definitely not in italics... my list of criteria was long.
In the same vein, my life is guided by lists and timetables.
Even on my days off I have to draw up a schedule before setting out to run errands detailing where I'll be and what I'll be doing at a certain time. The scary thing is that I actually follow that timetable, give and take 10 minutes.
I suppose it's not a bad thing to be organised and disciplined, but when did I start becoming so inflexible and such a bore?
Whatever happened to spontaneity and leaving things to chance and allowing life to be a bit messy?
Am I going to end up one of those rigid, frigid, crusty old women locked in her ways?
When did I start closing my mind to new experiences? There must be more to life than walnut bread every single morning. Dare I be adventurous enough to buy bath towels that are in, gulp, purple? To cut my hair?
And so this year, I'm going to keep an open minds as I break free from the tried, tested, old and familiar.
I'm going to tell myself that it's okay not to be in control of my time or my actions all the time. And when things don't work out the way I want them to, I will keep my cool and go with the flow.
What lies ahead might not be pleasant but at least it will open my eyes to new things. The discomfort might even energise me.
Since I've come up with Resolution No. 1, I thought I'd go the whole hog and compile a few more.
Resolution No. 2 would be to stop being greedy. Not greedy in the way of overeating (although that too), but greedy in wanting too much out of life and the people around me.
Could this be the year when I finally get it that the key to not being disappointed is to not have any expectations in the first place?
No matter who you are, you can't escape the sorrows that come with life - ill health, tragedies. There's no point wishing for a perfect existence because it doesn't exist in the first place.
People, too, can't be relied on to be always agreeable to you, so why expect them to see and do things your way? If you don't want for anything from anyone, no one will let you down.
Tied to that would be Resolution No. 3: To limit the words "I wish", "if only", "what if" and "wouldn't it be nice" in my vocabulary.
I tend to say them a lot because I'm often in a state of worry or nostalgia or am just blindly, stupidly hopeful about the future. Result? I build myself up for disappointment. Which is silly because what's past is past, no point looking back, while no amount of hoping for something nice to happen will make it happen.
Finally, Resolution No. 4 will be to stop comparing myself with others. Again, waste of time. You'll only end up feeling smug or lose your self-confidence and neither is a state you'd want to be in.
Besides, it's pointless because we're all different - we thing, act and look different, and each person's life experiences are unique to him.
Life is also not a contest. Another person having less or having more of something doesn't make me richer or poorer. Self-worth and happiness should, ideally, come from within, not how you fare against others or how others regard you.
Resolutions are easier said than done but it's just the second week of the new year. I have 50 weeks ahead to work on them.
Wish me luck. Surprises not unwelcome. I think.
Labels: Photos
